CAKE: Part 1

Well, I'm not sure if I should be publishing my true response to those first eighty some pages. Reading CAKE was far from enlightening for me. In fact, it was more embarrassing than anything. I felt like I was reading a thicker more expensive trashy magazine / self-help book. I didn't feel "liberated" in the way I felt the authors had intended (or maybe what I had hoped they intended) the readers to feel. Maybe it is important to acknowledge a contributing factor to this sentiment-- my location at the time of reading. The Ref room, at least in my opinion, is not the ideal place to read masturbation manual. The ambiance of the quiet library made me acutely aware of the explicit words I was reading, and therefore very uncomfortable. (Or maybe I'm just too sexually repressed to enjoy it? : ) )
Beyond that, I do appreciate the authors’ efforts to be “real”. I mean, Gallagher and Kramer do bring up some interesting facts: "vibrators are still sold primarily by the porn industry as a novelty item marketed to men. The sexy women on the covers of most vibrators boxes are there to convince men that including a vibrator in their sex life will be good for them." It goes on to state "the sale of vibrators is still outlawed in some states (even where Viagra is widely available), and women have been arrested for selling sex toys door-to-door.” At times the material is raw and in that way refreshing. They try to incorporate women’s personal stories and “real life” fantasies, positions, techniques, etc to make the reader feel more comfortable exploring herself. But I’m not sure it serves that function.
In the first 'pleasure tip' Gallagher and Kramer suggest "…redefining what a sexy woman looks like is up to us. Let those women's magazines know how tired you are of the unrealistic images in their glossy pages". As much as I think this is a great suggestion, I think it is a little too simplistic. Redefining what a “sexy” woman looks like is a much more complicated issue that needs more than just a letter writing campaign addressing the problem to the editor. I was hoping to find suggestions with some more substance.
At one point Gallagher and Kramer state: "Insecurity eats up our appetite for sex, whereas confidence makes us hungry for all the pleasure we know our hot bod deserves.” (22) I think that this is a typical self-help book response. It seems easy to blame a lack of inspiration to exploration our bodies on insecurity. I know plenty of secure women who have no interest in their ‘appetite for sex’. I don’t know if that “appetite” can be explained biologically or culturally. I’m sure it has to do with both. Nevertheless, it’s still interesting to think about why we feel the way we do about our bodies. What if we were in a different social group?... grew up in a different family or town?... or went to a different college?...would we feel differently?